Present in the Moment
“With meditation I found a ledge above the waterfall of my thoughts.”
Do you sometimes let go of your noisy mind and sit in stillness? Or maybe, during a simple chore like ironing, you allow your head to empty of all thoughts and you just focus on the task at hand? Would you be surprised to know that at that moment you were practicing mindfulness?
Mindfulness, a Buddhist teaching hijacked by capitalism, has become a multi-million dollar industry. But that doesn’t mean you should dismiss the practice; mindfulness still provides health benefits for women at our life stage.
Mindfulness benefits menopausal women
Mindfulness has therapeutic benefits that we now know can ease menopausal symptoms for women. Results from a recent study show that women who are ‘mindful’ — who can pay attention to the present moment and be nonjudgmental — have a lower level of menopausal symptoms and experience less stress. No, mindfulness won’t help us with our hot flashes and night sweats but as Dr. Richa Sood, a general internist at the Mayo Clinic shared, the study findings show a strong correlation between high mindfulness scores and lower symptom scores for irritability, depression, and anxiety in middle-aged menopausal women. "While more studies need to be done, doctors can consider discussing mindfulness as a potential treatment option for menopausal women," Dr. Sood added. Fortunately, mindfulness is a skill that can be learned.
Mindfulness naturally develops with time and life experience
The relationship between natural mindfulness characteristics and wellbeing starts around the age of 40 and becomes stronger as we age, so luckily for us women of a certain age, we are well- positioned to hone our mindfulness skills. Studies have shown that maintaining moment-to-moment awareness of one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences in an accepting and non-judgmental manner are all mindfulness characteristics that are all positively associated with age.
“Mindfulness may be an important component to healthy aging,” noted lead author Natalie J. Shook in a mindfulness study published in 2017. Study participants were asked how much they were mindfully aware in the moment and how concerned they felt about the limited time left in their life and the opportunities awaiting them. Older adults in the study tended to feel greater positive emotion. As older women, with less time ahead of us, we start to focus more on the present, rather than the future.
What is mindfulness?
Many people equate mindfulness with meditation but while meditation is a way to train yourself in mindfulness, you can cultivate mindfulness in your everyday activities without ever meditating.
Mary Pipher, author of Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing as We Age, says that a very simple definition of mindfulness is doing one thing at a time. She practices mindfulness through meditation. She started meditating after a tough year, wanting to calm down her mind. Initially, for her, it was as an emergency way to deal with her busy, overactive, hyped-up brain, but she found the experience beautiful, and notes, “…all I had to do with all of the pain I was in was just simply sit with it, and it was enormously calming. With meditation, I found a ledge above the waterfall of my thoughts.”
For Ellen Langer, a social psychologist who some have dubbed ‘the mother of mindfulness’, mindfulness has never involved contemplation or meditation or yoga. She defines mindfulness as “the simple act of actively noticing things,” which results in improved health, competence, and happiness. She is fond of saying that, whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it either mindfully or mindlessly. And the consequences of being in one state of mind or the other are enormous. “…Most people are just not there, and they’re not there to know that they’re not there… And so mindfulness, for me,” she continues, “is the very simple process of actively noticing things”. This is similar to an experience my friend Sharon related to me in a phone call earlier this week. We were talking about our word for the year. Sharon was considering the word wonderment but had also been reflecting on how often she mindlessly engaged in activities. She decided to change her word for 2021 to mindfulness, recognizing that by being mindful, she will find her way to wonderment.
Social media, the news, and life, all contribute to a mind crowded with too many thoughts. We spend hours each day in that state of mind. Add to that the expected roles we have as women; our children may have moved out and we may be getting ready for retirement, but many of us continue to struggle with putting everyone ahead of ourselves. How much time do we actually give ourselves to be still?
Mindfulness as an everyday activity
Every morning I lace on my hiking boots, fill my water bottle, and head out with my 11-year-old Bernie-cross. We walk towards the river and for the next 1-2 hours, we saunter along. As I walk, the wind blows through my hair, seals drift along beside us, and eagles soar overhead. My old dog stops frequently, sometimes for no apparent reason other than to lie down and enjoy the warmth of the sun. This is my time for mindfulness. I don’t wear headphones. I don’t hurry. My mind is open to the moment. Rebecca Solnit sums it up best for me in her book Wanderlust: A History of Walking, “walking allows us to be in our bodies and in the world without being made busy by them. It leaves us free to think without being wholly lost in our thoughts.”
Mindfulness does not need to be a practice you complete at a specific time each day, it can be incorporated into everyday activities - although establishing a regular practice may help deepen your intention. The important thing to remember is that mindfulness is a practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment. These may be moments you spend walking or ironing, or just sitting quietly, breathing deeply. You may also find your way to mindfulness through activities such as bullet journaling, adult colouring books, or labyrinth walking. Mindfulness can happen at any time.
Starting a regular mindfulness practice
Put away your devices
Checking social media and messaging your friends are both mindless activities, distracting you from the moment. Put those devices away!
Limit multi-tasking
When you try and balance multiple activities or responsibilities your mind is all over the place. Focus on the moment.
Be patient
It is not easy to be mindful; initially, your mind will wander. Pull it back to the present moment.
Practice, practice, practice
It can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit and an average of 66 days for a new behaviour to become automatic. Mindfulness is not going to happen overnight. Be gentle with yourself.
Put yourself first
Gift yourself some time to practice mindfulness, you deserve it. The practice will benefit your health and your happiness. And we all know that when we are in a good frame of mind, everyone around us also benefits.
Do you have a mindfulness practice? Have you incorporated mindfulness into your day-to-day life? We’d love to hear what you do to be present in the moment!