Navigating Life's Currents
“I’m taking the day.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move
Though really I’m traveling
a terrific distance.
Stillness.
One of the doors
into the temple.”
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
I am sharing my blog post a bit earlier this week, as the year winds to an end and quietly slides into 2021. Winter solstice may mean the start of longer days but for me, it signifies a time to hibernate. I have never been one for joyously ringing in the new year, and at midnight you will find me fast asleep in the comfort of my husband’s arms. I left resolutions behind many years ago and these days I am more focused on reflecting on my journey through life, where I am today, and where I am heading. This is a time of cocooning for me, a time for deep thought when, as Mary Oliver writes, I travel a terrific distance into stillness. I will listen to soft music, make my way through a huge pile of books, go for long walks, and put pen to paper.
As I stand here on the brink of everything, I will be giving thought to this blogging journey, and how I can support you to write your life stories. My husband and I will begin planning as retirement beckons. And, I will hone in on my personal journey.
Blogging and Life Stories
I began blogging a year ago, wanting to write about the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of my heart. I wanted to explore our collective journey as women ‘of a certain age’. I feel like I’ve drifted a bit this year, and I’m kicking myself for veering off course. But then, a lot hasn’t gone according to plans this pandemic year, so I suppose I should be a bit forgiving of myself. My new venture, Women Rowing North: Writing Our Life Stories, was more popular than I had expected. Yeah! And you are asking for more, wanting to dive deeper into your life stories. I have some ideas bouncing around my brain – now I just need to rein them in and put them in order.
Retirement Planning
In the last few months, my husband and I have met with our financial advisor and our retirement planner. We were happy to hear that despite some financial worries earlier in the year, we are on track towards our retirement in three years. But what will that look like? We have a general sense of where we want to be and what we want to do, but it’s all still a bit vague. Now is the time for us to sit down and do some long-range planning so we can get the ball rolling!
My Personal Journey
Mary Pipher, in an interview about her book, Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing As We Age, shared that the great gifts of this life stage, the northern lights, are authenticity and self-acceptance, expanded moral imagination, and the ability to take the long view of life and of time. She added that she believes we have an enhanced capacity for bliss at this stage of our lives. Bliss – ‘a state of complete happiness or joy’ - what a wonderful word! I have already chosen JOY as my word for 2021 and I anticipate it will infuse my planning for the coming year.
Many of you have been on this blogging journey with me since the start. Others have joined more recently or floated in and out, drawn to some blog posts more than others. A number of you contact me through Messenger or email, sharing your thoughts and feedback privately. I so appreciate your messages. As an introvert, I recognize how much it takes for some of you to even send a personal message. Other readers regularly contribute comments to my blog posts and on social media. Thank you. Nothing warms my heart more than when I hear that my words express your thoughts and feelings. I often feel like I am alone and you have shown me that we have so much in common.
I have been looking back over my blog posts from this past year and thought I would share with you the three most popular blog posts of the year. All three of these posts touch on the pandemic. They are also posts that show me at my most vulnerable. Sometimes I worry that I reveal too much about myself but as Brené Brown says, owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.
The Comfort of My Husband’s Arms
The alarm clock goes off at 6 am every morning. My husband turns it off, then rolls over and curves his body around mine. Over the next 5 minutes, he slowly wakes up. Wrapped in the comfort of his arms, I ease back into sleep, hoping to escape the reality of today’s world for another hour…
My brain is unfocused; I cannot concentrate on even the most mundane task. The butterflies in my stomach these days are not from excitement but instead, signify fear and uncertainty. My digestive system is completely out of whack and my body aches. I partly understand why I feel this way. After months of thinking that the life we have been living through this pandemic would eventually end, I am now coming to the realization that we don’t know what the future holds…
“Enough with all your spiritual platitudes”, I read on Instagram, “if you knew how difficult our lives were right now you would realize that your posts are causing me pain and anger rather than giving me relief and support”. That post hit home – and hit hard. Many of the social posts I have read lately have given me comfort or made me laugh but yes, there have been a few posts that made me think, you have no idea what is happening in my life and your words hurt…
Finally, I wish to leave you with a blessing for the coming year. I hope John O’Donohue’s words will comfort you, as they comfort me. Thank you for rowing north with me.
Beannacht / Blessing
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets into you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green
and azure blue,
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.
When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
- John O’Donohue