The Wilderness of Words — Ageless Possibilities

What books do you turn to when seeking spiritual inspiration or support? This is a question I ask the women participating in Women Rowing North: Writing Our Life Stories in week five of my course when we explore our spiritual lives and values. The question is meant to evoke memories of life stories but it seems the women participating in my gatherings also love to read. I watch on the Zoom screen as everyone madly scribbles the titles of books that are shared!

Many of the books already live on my bookshelf, including The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron and books by Eckhart Tolle and Richard Wagamese. But I also write down titles books that I have not read, and some that are completely unfamiliar to me, like The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself – the book most often mentioned. Other authors offering spiritual inspiration include Carolyn Myss, Joan Borysenko, Henry Nouwen, and Richard Rohr.

This question I pose to women in my courses has me reflecting on the books that have given me the perspective I have been seeking this past year. Interestingly, the books I have been turning to are not new books, but rather books that have lived on my bookshelf for several years, in fact, some have been tucked away on the bottom shelf for more than 20 years.

I share these books with you not as recommendations or a review but rather as books that have spoken to me this past year. I echo the words of Maria Popova, who recently introduced her favourite books of 2020 with the words -

I am not and have never been a reviewer of books — a person who surveys the landscape of literature with the goal of evaluating its features. I am and have always been a solitary sojourner who relishes curious excursions hither and thither, guided by a thoroughly subjective inner compass, wandering the wilderness of words by pleasant deviations from the common trail. These are my footsteps. – Maria Popova

During these pandemic months, these are some of the books that I have turned to in the wilderness of words..

I began exploring mother-daughter relationships twenty-five years ago, the year when Goodbye Mother, Hello Woman: Reweaving the Daughter and Mother Relationship by Mary Dell and Marilyn Irwin Boynton was released (no longer in print). I wanted to be a good mother to my young daughters and, like many women I have met over the years, that meant I did not want to be my mother. My copy of this book, written from a family systems approach, is well-thumbed with many underlined sentences and folded pages. I picked it up again this year as I return to this theme of mothers and daughters. My copy of the book is autographed by Mary Dell, and above her signature, she wrote, “Until you see your mother as a woman, you see every woman as your mother.” I have been giving a great deal of thought to women, mothers, and daughters this year as I start this journey rowing north.

I long to head off on another pilgrimage, along footpaths that had been worn down over hundreds of years but this pandemic has kept me close to home. Years ago, when my children were still young and I dreamt of heading off alone, I picked up a copy of Personal Pilgrimage: One Day Soul Journeys for Busy People by Viki Hurst. My life wasn’t busy at the time, I just wanted to experience the feel of a pilgrimage. This book has once again become a companion as I begin to dream of one day soon walking the Camino Primitivo to Santiago de Compostela, and then carrying on to Finisterre. This book can be filled in with your own words, a sort of journal. Hurst offers themed destinations, suggested activities, a list what to pack in your pilgrim’s satchel, and space for writing both pre- and post- pilgrimage reflections.

Years ago I heard Byron Katie on an Oprah episode and I cried. I cried Oprah tears, or happy tears, as my daughters used to call them. Katie was one of many of Oprah’s guests who brought insight into my life. I have read several of Katie’s books but for me, really, it comes back each time to her four questions. Recently I purchased her children’s book, The Four Questions, written for children who have stressful thoughts. The questions she poses to Henny Penny, who thinks the sky is falling, continue to guide me –

Is it true?
So do I absolutely know that it’s true?
How do I react, what happens, when I believe this thought?
Who would I be without this thought?

Then I turn the thought around to its opposite and identify specific, genuine examples of how each turn around is true.

Sometimes though, these pandemic days, all I need are a few lines of wisdom to make me feel that everything will be okay. Two books I regularly turn to for a short burst of support are Oneness With All Life by Eckhart Tolle and Embers: One Ojibway’s Meditations by Richard Wagamese. Often this is enough.

And like some of my workshop participants, this year has also been a time to re-visit Pema Chodron’s book, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times. These past weeks, I have been exploring her concept of groundlessness through Guided Journaling for Uncertain Times, a free 7-day process offered by Reboot. A perfect segue into exploring my shadow side, which I will be stepping into in 2021.

And what about you dear reader, what books have given you the perspective you were seeking this past year? Please share them with us in the comments below so we can madly scribble down the titles, hoping they may also bring us some relief.

I have had several readers contact me to say they cannot comment. The comment settings are set so you should be able to comment as a guest, only having to give your name, no need to add your email address.