The Truth of Her Face
“The years had begun to reveal the truth of her face, as they did to all of us.”
A moment of sheer joy reveals my laugh lines and wrinkles.
On my morning walks with Tucker, on the road behind my home, I regularly encounter a woman who I assume must live close by. We usually pass each other at a distance during these days of COVID 19, I walk along the path and she walks along the side of the road. We smile at each other but we have never spoken. Yet there is a recognition or familiarity in our interaction. I want to speak to her, and I think she feels the same. I sense a hesitation in her to connect, and so I respond in kind.
It’s not that I don’t find it easy enough to connect with strangers through casual conversation. The actual steps my Fitbit records on our morning walks are usually half of what they should be - considering how long I am gone! Tucker and I have numerous neighbourhood regulars we stop to connect with every morning and I also converse with the odd stranger; usually, someone who admires Tucker or who, like me, stops to watch the eagles soaring overhead or the coyotes scavenging along the shoreline across the river.
And yet I cannot seem to engage this woman who intrigues me. I think it’s because she may be a kindred spirit. I say that because I feel a pull between us. I suspect she feels the same. I hesitate because, well what if I’m wrong? It’s like I’d rather think that she might be a kindred spirit than find out I’m wrong.
A few years ago I might have assessed a woman by how she dressed, or where she bought her coffee and books – Starbucks and Chapters, or independent coffee shops and bookstores? I would have been inclined to befriend women close to my age who worked in similar, helping professions or who enjoyed similar pastimes. And I have met some wonderful women this way. But lately, I am finding that there is also a richness in trusting my heart when I look into someone’s face.
So what is it that connection? I have come to realize that our accumulated years reveal the truth written on our faces, and maybe I am drawn to this woman’s truth. This stranger who draws me in has a shy smile and laugh lines around her eyes. She makes direct eye contact and there is a quiet confidence in her warm gaze. And then there is that indefinable quality that I see when I look at her, a quality that is difficult to put into words. A quality that I think may speak to her very essence, her truth.
The same can be said about women who make me withdraw into myself; women who fill me with discomfort and unease. These women usually have hard eyes or pursed lips. They laugh too loud and they look at me with scornful or judgmental eyes. I read the truth on their faces and it is not a truth I want to bring into my life.
Does this make sense to you? When you look in the mirror, now that you have reached a certain age, do you see the truth of your face? How would you describe that?
When I look in the mirror I see how I have aged – I see deepening circles under my eyes, sunspots, tight wrinkles around my mouth, and silvery highlights in my hair. But what shines more brightly when I look at myself are sparkling eyes and laugh lines. I like what I see in the mirror, what I ‘see’ is not a physical presence but rather an aura of calm and serenity. I see someone who cares, who is curious and passionate about life, who is comfortable with who she is, and I think my truth radiates outward.
Now I’m well aware I’m not all rainbows and sunshine! I can be scornful, cast scathing glances, and purse my lips in displeasure. Occasionally, I carry a darkness deep within that sends people scattering for cover. But we all have our shadow side that surfaces from time to time, and for me, that is only a small part of who I am.
I wanted to see if there was any substance to this way of judging people because I am aware that I am judging someone based on their looks. And thankfully, Google helped substantiate that there is some truth in this approach.
Research tells us our childhood can be written on our faces. A University of Edinburgh study revealed that it is possible to learn about a person’s childhood by looking at the symmetry of their face. The findings suggest that early childhood experience such as nutrition, illness, and exposure to cigarette smoke and pollution can leave their mark on people’s facial features. Well, that seems self-evident to me. But the study also suggests that facial symmetry can reveal selfishness, self-sufficiency, and whether someone would seek help from others.
I also discovered Chinese face reading. Face reading was originally a diagnostic tool in Chinese medicine that looked at the patterns in people’s features to identify tendencies towards illness or good health. But then physicians realized that these same facial patterns could also reflect people’s inner personality, how they tend to think, feel, and behave.
And so it seems the years have begun to reveal the truth of my face, and the truth of your face, and the truth of this stranger’s face, who I am drawn to. So next time I encounter this woman walking along the back road I will stop and say hello - and hopefully start a new friendship.