The Honey Effect
“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.”
I went to bed the other night looking forward to waking up to a blanket of snow. I drifted off to sleep feeling much like Pooh, anticipating that first taste of honey. Well, good thing I enjoyed that moment because there was no snow when I woke up! But that anticipation still lingered, as the morning had that cold, grey quality that promised snow. And a few minutes later, as I was making my morning coffee, big fat, fluffy snowflakes began floating down. The snow filled me with happiness and I savored the moment, as I stood by the window enjoying my first sip of coffee.
I have been pondering this feeling of anticipation these last few weeks. I posted a photo on social media of a long list of pre-ordered books heading my way between now and June. Initially, I had made a list of books I wanted to read but then I realized that if I pre-ordered them, I would get to enjoy the excitement of knowing something good was coming my way.
I feel much the same about travel. My husband and I are celebrating our 35th anniversary in May and we have rented a huge house in Tofino and invited the kids to join us. The anticipation of this trip began the moment we made the decision to go somewhere with our children. Pleasure is not always in the doing, pleasure is also in the planning and then the waiting - that is especially true for me when it comes to travel! For this trip, the anticipation built as we brainstormed where we could go to enjoy great hikes, ocean, and good food – a place with a vibe that we would all enjoy. Tofino, on the west coast of British Columbia, ticked all those boxes. Tofino is also where my husband and I went on our first holiday as a married couple, adding an element of romance and nostalgia. Then the research began to find just the right house – a house big enough so we can all enjoy our own space, within walking distance of the ocean, and a yard able to accommodate all three dogs, with a hot tub and fire pit! And I found THE house – an absolute gem that totally fits our wish list. The anticipation grows as the planning continues – menus, activities, and restaurant bookings.
Now, anticipation can let you down. I am aware that COVID restrictions may still be in place in May and we may need to cancel, but if that happens just think of that warm, fuzzy feeling I have been able to enjoy all the months leading up to May!
Anticipation is good for your mental health
These last few weeks have been rough for me, with a few tears, some dark days, and a feeling of being lost. I expect this may continue for a while. But I’ve realized that anticipation counterbalances some of those feelings and that it might be possible to intentionally create anticipation, which has to be good for my mental health!
Turns out that anticipation is healthy, and it is good for our mental health to have something to look forward to, especially during challenging times such as this pandemic. A recent research study revealed that three brain regions orchestrate the boosting of anticipation; and the hippocampus, the region known for memory, plays a central role in enhancing reward anticipation after receiving information. The lead author of the study, Kiyohito Iigaya, references the current pandemic in her explanation - “Let’s say you’re looking forward to life after the pandemic, and currently seeking information about vaccines. According to our study, this makes sense because thinking about future rewards (life after pandemic) is enjoyable, and the good news about the future (the vaccine) can boost the anticipation. You’re actually enjoying now by thinking about the future reward and collecting more information.”
Gretchen Rubin, the author of the Happiness Project and other books on happiness, identifies anticipation as the first stage of enjoying a happy event. Rubin says pleasant anticipation is an important source of happiness; by having something to look forward to, no matter what your circumstances, you bring happiness into your life well before the event actually takes place.
Rubin continues by saying that anticipation requires two things: something happy to anticipate and the mindfulness to do the anticipating. Last month I gave some suggestions on how to start a mindfulness practice, but I had no idea at the time that anticipation could be a mindfulness practice!
Planned anticipation
So, as Rubin suggests, I am going to make a commitment to planning things that bring me happiness by building in anticipation. What does that look like? I had a tentative phone call planned with a friend for some time next week, but by agreeing on a date and time, it has become a scheduled event I can look forward to. I’m also going to suggest to my husband that we make plans to walk the dog together into the village on Sunday afternoons and stop at our favourite heated patio for a coffee. We might do this anyway but by planning these walks, I have something to look forward to.
Everyday moments of anticipation
This is making me think that I can also bring more happiness into my life by being aware of the anticipation I feel leading up to everyday moments of joy. And there are so many of those moments!
The moment I wake up wondering if I will open my eyes to a brilliant sunrise.
Every morning I look forward to chatting with random strangers on my morning walks, vital connections during these pandemic days. Will I see the kingfisher hanging around the docks as I walk by? How many eagles will I count along the river?
My husband brings me a glass of Stoneleigh, my favourite Sauvignon Blanc, as I am working on this blog post. The cold crispness of my first sip of is always such a wonderful surprise.
I click on a new book on my iPad and it opens to the cover. I take pleasure in wondering whether this book will comfort, inspire, or nourish my soul.
Every night as I head up to bed with my book and cup of tea, one of our cats accompanies me. He sits looking at me for a few minutes while I settle in and then, every night, he drops his body perfectly into the curve of my side.
And then there is my lover’s touch, comfortable and familiar after 35 years of marriage. He paints the same patterns on my body with his hands after all these years and I still shiver in anticipation of where those hands will travel next.
Wine, nature, pets, books – and of course, human connections! These are all wonderful moments that I can draw out with a bit of anticipation. Have you thought about how anticipation feeds your happiness? Can you see yourself anticipating everyday moments of joy? Like Pooh, what moments, just before you do something, are almost better than the moment itself?