The Best Laid Plans

I am a planner. Give me a project or an event and I will make lists, create action plans, and develop outcomes. I will stay on schedule, establish regular check-ins, and evaluate as I go along. However, when it comes to my own life, I have a history of meandering, wandering off track and going with the flow. Yet even without a lot of planning, I feel like I have been fairly lucky most of my life, falling into opportunities, stars aligning and all that crap. Some would say it was the law of attraction, that deep down I knew what I wanted, and it found me. Maybe – all I know is my approach has worked – I’ve lived a pretty wonderful life.

But last year, when it felt like my world was crashing down around me and I faced this new stage of my life, I knew I had to take a different approach. I won’t dwell on last year’s crash – except to say that it involved health issues and work challenges. I knew though, that if I did not make plans, I would idle away my remaining days reading, hiking, drinking wine, and spending time with friends and family. Now that’s not a bad life, far from it, but I also have some big dreams. I knew I would look back in disappointment if I did not at least attempt to live my passions.

I have worked many years as an early years community developer, work I still continue with but on a lesser scale, but lately I have developed an interest in the other end of our life span – more specifically, the aging journey of women. I am not so much interested in the elderly, although I expect as I age that will change. Instead, I am interested in engaging with women of a ‘certain age’ – women like me, in that 50 to 76 age span, who want to live meaningful lives in this next stage of our lives. And so, last spring, I began planning. Now, I know some of you have your future completely planned out, but for me this is a fairly new concept. I wanted to share with you how I went about it, in case some of you are like me, wondering how your future will unfold.

Life Coaching

A very dear friend of mine, Sharon, helped me set off on this journey by offering some life coaching. Sharon and I met as colleagues many years ago and over time we have developed a deep friendship. Fifteen years older than me, Sharon has always had an inner light, access to wisdom and insight that seems to elude me. She became my sounding board. She saw strengths in me that I was not able to see, and she helped me begin to envision a plan by asking gentle, probing questions.

Transitioning with Intention

I am a huge proponent of life-long learning and I sign up for three to four courses every year. Last fall I registered for Your Next Move: Transitioning with Intention, an online course offered by Penny Freno through Simon Fraser University’s 55+ program. As a writer, Penny’s approach was a perfect fit for me! Through life stories and a web-based tool, Online Storyteller, my future began to emerge, built on a foundation of my skills, strengths, and passions. The course left me with a measurable action plan and a career – or life – statement that continues to ring true. Here is part of my life statement – it hangs on the bulletin board by my desk as a gentle reminder:

I have reached an age where I want a balanced life, to live at a slower pace, and begin to re-ignite my passions – I want a deeply meaningful life. …. I plan to begin taking small intentional steps to see how they resonate. I anticipate that paid work will emerge if I follow the path I create for myself.

In my personal life I need to become better at balancing my health, relationships, need for solitude, and interests. I need to become better at planning and scheduling so I can take care of myself and use my time wisely.

I want to focus on my dreams, by building on my personal strengths and qualities. I want to write more! I plan to launch a blog in January that focuses on women and aging. I want to explore some ideas I have on a different approach to memoir writing – initially on a personal level and if it seems viable, explore how I can share this with others. I love information and research – and lately, I am consumed by this journey into elderhood, especially for women. I want to cultivate a shared learning journey and see where that takes me...

And I want to ‘dare bravely’! I want to step outside of my comfort zone and try new experiences and fulfill my bucket list. Another large part of daring bravely for me is to cultivate new relationships – building the network of women in my life while balancing my need for solitude.

Wow! Amazing isn’t it, how putting thoughts down on paper, or speaking them aloud, can actually make them happen.

Next Steps Circle

I also joined three wonderful women in a Next Steps Circle, created by my friend and work partner, Tracy. This online platform provided a safe, trusting community for each of us to start crafting our next chapter. We individually worked on a series of activities to help us hone in on our future plans, and then supported each other with feedback and suggestions.

Writing and Reflection

I know I need to spend time in my own head if I want to bring my plans to fruition, and for me the best way to do that is to write. I start nearly every day with Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, stream of consciousness writing which, she shares, “…are for your eyes only…(and will) provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand”. I also have a list of writing prompts that I draw from when I am struggling with a thought or want to explore an idea. And more recently, I have begun writing about my past because I truly believe our past informs our future.

“The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray”, suggests that we should not always expect things to always turn out to plan. However, I’ve found that because of my planning, my dreams for the future are falling into place – despite this COVID setback!

Have you planned this next phase of your life? I would be interested to know what techniques you have used. And has COVID impacted your decisions? I’d love it if you could take a moments to share your journey in the comments below.