Stepping Gently Into the New Year
“Your growth is not about some destination far in the future; it’s about the little day to day changes that make you feel a little more joy, the ones that make you feel a little bit lighter, a little bit more of you. Growth has no destination either— it’s more of a direction.”
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
The new year completely slipped by me - in more ways than one. I am notorious for being fast asleep when the new year announces itself. I usually only wake briefly from the sounds of children marching around our co-op banging pots, neighbours greeting the new year, and the explosion of fireworks. This year, not a whisper disturbed my sleep.
Usually, the first day of the year is a quiet day for me, a time for reflection. But not this year. Instead, I curled up with a book and a glass of wine.
I kept thinking I should be working on a blog post to share with you. After all, January is all about new beginnings. Did you know that January is named for the Roman god Janus, who presides over endings, beginnings, doorways and transitions? In a recent newsletter, Carrie Newcomer wrote that “the gaze of Janus is often depicted as looking simultaneously forward and back, an image of the eternal now living smack dab in the middle of all that was and all that is yet to be. At the turn of the year, there is much written about looking forward, self-improvement, assessing what has not been done (or done well enough) and resolving to do it (or do it better).” Carrie shared that she prefers imagining how she might turn the last page of the calendar year as not just a time to look forward, but rather as the moment when before and after meet and her joys and sorrows pull up a chair and share a cup of tea with her hopes and dreams. Doesn’t that sound like a lovely way to transition into a new year?
I wondered what I should blog about if I am not setting intentions or making commitments? What can I share with you that has not already been said eloquently by so many others?
These last few weeks, I have been collecting insights and observations from other bloggers and women whose stories I follow. I offer you no personal enlightenment in this blog post; instead, I want to share with you words that echo my thoughts.
Grief has been the underlying theme of many new year messages. I know I had moments of intense joy in 2022, as I hope many of you did, but this is not an easy world to live in these days, and I have also felt deep sorrow.
In her new year message on The Marginalian, Maria Popova wrote, “This world is radiant with beauty. This world is also capable of bone-chilling brutality and the small, corrosive daily cruelties that salt our days with sorrow. For a sensitive person to live with the duality, to keep the light aflame without turning away from the darkness that needs illumination, may be the most difficult thing in life — and the most rewarding.”
On her blog A Wabi Sabi Life, Katharine also started her post with this Maria Popova quote. She wrote that this theme echoed across several "love letters" waiting in her inbox on New Year's Day. Katharine shared that she loves the process of discerning a shimmering word or phrase to serve as her north star for the year. She continued, “awake at 4, I nestled under the covers musing on a dream and knowing I simply have no idea about my shimmering word, phrase, or much of anything about this new year.”
Courtney Martin suggested we go gently into the new year. “You’re likely being bombarded with ads about eating healthier and exercising more and finally getting that meditation practice sparked,” she wrote. She reminded us that “the reason the turn of the calendar year is such a wildly popular time to start and then not stick with new diets, new exercise regimens, new skin care routines, is because someone profits off of our collective delusion that these things will make us happy, healthy, and complete.”
I believe we spend most of our lives choosing what we have already chosen, fine-tuning as we go along. As the new year starts, and continues, I set my course based on the experiences and wisdom that each life stage has offered me. I know the direction I am paddling, I just don’t know every bend in the river. This quote by Nikki Banas captures this belief.
“Your growth is not about some destination far in the future; it’s about the little day to day changes that make you feel a little more joy, the ones that make you feel a little bit lighter, a little bit more of you. Growth has no destination either— it’s more of a direction. It’s a direction towards becoming even more aligned with your authentic self. It’s about heading towards who you want to become. And if your direction changes? That’s perfectly okay too. Growth doesn’t happen in a straight line. It ebbs and flows, pushes and pulls. Growth is about doing what you think is best today to make tomorrow just a little bit more joyful, a little bit lighter. So grow in all the ways you want to grow, beautiful friend.”
The only guidebook I gift myself every year is the Intentional Year Guidebook, an offering from Clare Mulvany. Clare shares that she is allergic to ‘New Year, New You' messaging. Instead, she seeks a process that taps into her inherent wholeness and is more about drawing out potential and gifts rather than reprimanding or shaming. This is how her Intentional Year Process has evolved, a way to review for insight and vision from a place of gratitude, compassion and fullness.
Clare offers prompts, questions, meditations and reflections that guide me as I explore tributaries on my journey north. This guidebook helps me listen to my own wisdom and translates that wisdom into intentional action.
Last year in my new year’s post I wrote, “I am hesitantly stepping into 2022, much like stepping onto a frozen pond, not sure if the ice is solid enough to hold me. I remember skating as a child on thin ice, one skate disappearing through a crack. This time I am concerned the ice is so thin I may fall right through! ….I am sad about the future. Change happens; I know that. But never in my life have I felt such uncertainty that is completely out of my control.”
This will be a year of transition for me, and I want, and need, to remain open to what life throws my way. In the summer, we are moving to our island home. As you can imagine, the purging and Swedish death cleaning will be intense these next six months! In September, my husband retires. We will be heading off for ten weeks of travel and then starting a new life stage in a home that is quite a bit smaller. As someone who craves solitude, I am already wondering - okay, worrying is probably a better word - what it will be like being with my husband 24-7! I know it will take us a while to slip into a new routine. I love spending time with my husband but I know we will also both need to find a bit of independence in our relationship and that may look different in our island home. And so, I am stepping gently into this new year.