Our Lives Entwined With Others
“…when you live a life, under any name, that life becomes entwined with others. You leave a trail of potential consequences. You are never just you, and you owe it to the people you care about to remember that. Because the people you care about are part of your identity, too. Perhaps the biggest part.”
Okinawa, an island southwest of the mainland of Japan, is a longevity hot spot, a blue zone, a place where people live healthier and longer. A report published in the journal, Aging and Anthropology revealed that this is the result of their attitude of gratitude.
On Thursday, Americans celebrated Thanksgiving. Among the posts about turkey dinners and family gatherings, many citing how to avoid engaging with toxic relatives, there were also posts about gratitude. A common thread wove through the gratitudes, acknowledging family, friends, health, and the bounty offered by the earth. While all these are worthy of gratitude, a deeper dive into gratitude is needed to ensure longevity.
The research in Okinawa, conducted by Dr Iza Kavedija, of the University of Exeter, focused on people in their 80s and 90s via long-term ethnographic fieldwork near Osaka.
Kavedija noticed that many of the locals she spoke with carried a quiet hope, a belief that things would work out somehow. They accepted the uncertainty of their future, not allowing it to stop them from living an engaging life - providing peace of mind and a sense of hope or optimism.
"An attitude of gratitude was embedded in older people's recollections of the past," said Kavedija, "but also allowed them to think about the present in a hopeful way. A world in which one has received much goodwill from others is a different place from one in which one has experienced loss, even if the facts of life are the same.”
Gratitude in these older Japanese people is, to a large extent, a recognition of how much we rely on others as we move through life. This gratitude highlights feelings of interdependence in the social world.
"If one habitually invokes the involvement of others and their role in one's life, one is reminded how much other people have helped them, in countless small and more substantive ways." Kavedija shared, "The same events seem different when one focuses on how others have helped.”
So together with embracing a general optimism for their remaining life, these people also concentrated on reframing their remembrances. For example, rather than dwelling on abilities they may have lost with age, they focused on gratitude for the support of other people in their life. People explained to Kavedija, that they would not be the person they were at that moment if not for the influence of the others in their lives.
This research study has made me think of you, readers of Ageless Possibilities, and the impact you have had on my life since I began blogging almost three years ago.
First, let’s look at the definitions of gratitude and thankfulness. Gratitude is an active practice, it is the practice of making space for appreciation. What separates gratitude from thankfulness is intention. Therapist Joree Rose shares that gratitude "is a quality of thankfulness. It's something you intentionally choose to focus on and practice, which means you don't just feel it; you do something about it."
Practicing gratitude helps to increase our feeling of interconnectivity with others, Rose continues. By allowing us to tap into a greater human experience, ultimately overlapping with the practice of self-compassion, gratitude serves as a gentle reminder that we are not alone; our problems and insecurities are valid and shared. Recognizing this can help strengthen our social connections.
I think of how thankful I am for your support, but even more than that, for what you bring into my life - and for that, I am grateful.
I think of Charmaine Wilkerson’s words in the book, Black Cake (definitely a novel I would recommend you read!). “When your life becomes entwined with others, you leave a trail of potential consequences. You are never just you; you owe it to the people you care about to remember that. Because the people you care about are part of your identity, too.”
And I think of how I will hold you in my heart as I take a few months off to cocoon, snuggling in to reflect on life and new ageless possibilities. I will read, write, and create. I will think of you as I practice gratitude.
Much of what is written in this blog post is paraphrased from an article by Eliza Sullivan, How Gratitude Plays A Role In The Longevity Of Hope In Japan, According To A New Report.
Interested in learning more about gratitude and longevity and other habits of people living longer lives? Check out:
3 Unexpected Habits Of People Who Live Longer, From The Founder Of Blue Zones
And, longevity is not the only benefit of practicing gratitude as you will read here:
16 Benefits Of Gratitude, According To Science & Mental Health Experts