Now I Become Myself

Visiting Kanchanaburi, Thailand (2012)

I woke up this morning to a Facebook memory from 2012, ten years ago. I am standing by the River Kwai in Kanchanaburi, the last stop on my solo adventure to Thailand. Look at that smile on my face! I had just spent a somber morning visiting the Hellfire Pass Interpretive Centre. Then the heavens opened! The rain was cleansing, and the camera caught me as I marvelled at my blessed life and how lucky I was to go on solo adventures. A passion that fills my heart and feeds my soul.

Now, you would think that if I am so confident of this need for solo travel,  I would also, at the age of 63, have a strong sense of who I am. And I do. I know what matters to me and what drives my passion. And yet at times, I still question my strengths. I’m not sure if any of you feel that way. Someone tells me I am a good listener - and I think, really? I know I try to be a good listener, but I am never sure if I am successful.

Every now and then, we are compelled to share information about ourselves beyond our family and health background. This usually stumps me. It always happened when I had to write a cover letter for a consulting proposal. I could write comfortably about my skills, but I felt less comfortable writing about my personal characteristics.

This is also a challenge when I have to make a decision involving some element of risk. I have missed opportunities because I did not think I was brave enough, wise enough, bold enough - well, you know what I mean.

So, when I have been in situations where I have to write about myself, I usually re-visit my personality type. Then I turn to friends and family who know me well for validation. The usual response is a gentle reminder reassuring me that I know what makes me shine. But I’m not always so sure if I do know. I think there are things others know about us that we don’t recognize in ourselves.

I felt the same when I began creating this blog. So I joined a small cohort of women, the Next Steps Circle. We were all exploring new ventures in this next stage of our lives. One of the activities suggested we reach out to people who knew us well, people who would be honest with us, and ask them - what is unique about me? In business terms, this can help you develop your brand. I was hoping to discover what I could bring to blogging that spoke to my heart and bring out my uniqueness in the blogging world.

This activity emphasizes characteristics that we may think are common to most women but instead, they display our uniqueness. Here are ten things I was told about myself. These characteristics have helped shape Ageless Possibilities and my workshops, Women Rowing North: Writing Our Life Stories.

So, Who Am I?

  1. I am authentic, gentle, approachable, insightful, wise

  2. I make it safe to be vulnerable

  3. I don’t let others define who I am

  4. I am not a joiner; however, I need to be part of something bigger

  5. I immerse myself completely when I am passionate and committed

  6. I set high standards for myself and others

  7. I am not good at failure

  8. I have a deep sense of purpose

  9. I can see things from multiple perspectives and I am able to put the pieces together

  10. I hold deep values around family, motherhood and feminine strengths

My Personality Type

And if you enjoy exploring personality types, here is a bit more about me - with some background.

In 2018, my colleague and friend, Tracy, and I began exploring the similar attributes common among successful women in our work field. We invited eight women to take some personality tests, followed by a weekend retreat for exploration and discussion. Interestingly, not only did we have similar adolescent and young adult experiences, but we also shared common personality types. All of us, except one, were INFJ on Myers Briggs, and most of us also scored the same when we did our enneagram, Reformer (1), with a bit of Loyalist (6). We also did several other personality tests. So what have these personality tests confirmed about me?

  • I have always been a perfectionist and critical of myself. When I read more about my personality type, I realized that the relentless attacks of my inner critics have made me overly harsh with myself

  • Now that I am older, I finally trust my intuition

  • Achieving goals has always been important to me. I had not realized how much the path to those goals mattered. I now always ask myself - am I honourable? Am I being fair and truthful?

  • I think things through and examine them from all sides. I don’t jump to conclusions (usually!); I can have my mind changed in light of all the evidence. Interesting, because I am also really opinionated!

  • I provide wide counsel to others. I seem to have ways of looking at the world that makes sense to myself and others

  • I notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and skills in various domains of life, from nature to science, to everyday experiences.

Now you know a little bit more about me! Does any of this resonate with you? Do you know what is unique about you?

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