Moments of Joy I
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what your really love. It will not lead you astray.”
Britannia Shipyards at sunrise.
I am so unfocused these days. Maybe you are too? I expect it is from the uncertainty that awaits us every morning when we wake up. I certainly hope that’s the reason because if not then I may need medication or therapy! I jump from task to task and can’t even seem to concentrate on a compelling murder mystery. I have noticed though, that moments of joy startle me with their intensity as my scattered mind free flows these days. So, as I can’t seem to focus on a blog topic, I will instead share some random joy-filled moments that hit home for me this week.
The Art of Being Yourself
I followed a Facebook link to a YouTube video I thought I might enjoy, but no, not quite my thing. However, in the video library on the right of my screen, I saw a title that piqued my interest - The Art of Being Yourself – a TedX by Caroline McHugh. I am forever hoping that someone will help me figure out who I am and the screenshot of this black-robed, bald woman intrigued me. I clicked on the video and within moments her Scottish lilt mesmerized me - as did her message. I only watched this yesterday so I still need some time to absorb and reflect on all that I heard but a few comments she shared excited the butterflies residing in my stomach – a sure sign that I am learning something about myself.
“When you look at remarkable individuals to see what they have in common you discover that they have nothing in common at all. So what is their common thread? These individuals have taken the unique gift they have been given and then put it at the service of their goals”.
“With every passing year, your job is to be better and better at being who you already are. This is not a cosmetic exercise, you are already different. Your job is to figure out how and then be more of that”.
In her presentation, McHugh shows a clip of singer Jill Scott, who is waiting to go on stage, just as Eryka Badu is wrapping up her performance. An interviewer asks her, are you nervous about following Badu? Scott laughs and says, have you seen me perform? She continues, “We all have our own thing. That’s the magic; every one comes with their own strength and their own queendom. Mine could never compare to hers and hers could never compare to mine.” Now, this is someone who has what McHugh calls the ‘I’ factor!
Do you also feel a joyful spark as you read these lines? She says there are only two times in your life that you are fantastically yourself, when you are very young and when you are a wrinkly, and you can’t be arsed by anything or anyone – how I wish I could write that with a Scottish lilt! When you’re an oldie she continues, everything intensifies, you become more honest and less compromising and you don’t bother spending time doing things you don’t like or spending time with people you would rather avoid. McHugh’s words have sent my thoughts off in a million different directions! And what fills me with wonder about these words is, how will I know when I’MPOSSIBLE?
Nature Journaling
I must admit that as much as my scattered mind is a bit worrisome, it is taking me to wonderful places! I wasted more time on social media, following random threads here, there and everywhere – and where do I end up? I land at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology after reading some Instagram posts about bird watching. I had heard about the Cornell Lab before but only in academic terms. But it seems they also have a Bird Academy with videos, learning games for kids and courses. I could probably spend a week hear identifying bird songs and learning about mating behaviours. And it is here I discover – to my absolute delight – a course on Nature Journaling and Field Sketching! Now I don’t think I draw well, partly because I like to do things perfectly the first time, so practice is not easy for me - but I love botanical illustrations and sketches of birds in motion. And watching the introductory videos about the course I think, I want to do this! I want to wander through the rainforest and along the shore with my journal and sketch mushrooms, leaves, and birds and write down observations about tides and oystercatchers.
The Birds and the Bees…and the Flowers and the Trees
Dawn and dusk are my favourite times of the day. There is a stillness in the early morning that calms my heart. I wake and listen to the chickadee-dee-dee song in the tree outside our bedroom window. These days it is the only morning sound I hear unless the wind is blowing. I take my coffee into the backyard and the first rays of the sun filter through the leaves of the oak tree, casting light and shadow on the greenery below. I am not someone who enjoys flowers and my yard is mostly full of hostas and ferns, with a splash of colour from cranesbill geraniums and lilacs. If I am lucky, I may see a raccoon waddling along the fence, heading to bed. The hummingbirds still visit the feeders but far less frequently as flowers begin to blossom. They make the only other sound I sometimes hear in the early morning, a loud squeak as the wind passes through the outer feathers of the male hummingbird during his courtship dive. This morning stillness that calms my heart fills me with awe for this amazing natural world, untouched by life’s events.
As I finish writing this blog post I realize that I was totally absorbed during those moments of joy I have shared with you. Writing this blog post - in fact writing in general, holds my attention completely. I can sit for hours writing and researching, completely focused on words and sentences. And now I’m thinking that I may not be unfocused after all; maybe I just need to lose myself in activities that fill me.