Intimate Strangers
It will not come as a surprise to many of you that I am an introvert. I am not good in social situations. My handful of friends know I cancel plans at the last minute. They know not to invite me to a party. They also know that if the invitation is for dinner for four, husbands included, with a promise of good conversation rather than watching the hockey game, then count me in!
The pandemic held many challenges, but being locked down was also a gift. I enjoyed the quiet and time for reflection. I loved curling up with a book or a new mystery series on BritBox. I liked the solitude and often had to force myself to engage with other human beings.
The lockdown was also lonely, so I began blogging and facilitating life story workshops, projects I had dreamt of doing for many years. I connected with women through my blog, workshops, and over Facebook and Instagram, women who had common interests. Did I feel comfortable in these new ‘social’ situations? Yes! I enjoy having meaningful conversations with women who hold many of the same values as I do and who want authentic connections.
There is constant debate as to whether online interaction is healthy. We’ve all heard it. How can you have a ‘real’ relationship with someone you have never met? My opinion, after connecting with hundreds of women over the last four years? True friendships and strong connections can develop in an online world. In real life, we tend to make friends with people we meet through our daily activities. And the more you see someone, the more you feel connected to them. While online acquaintances may not even live in the same country as us, we can still create a strong connection by interacting online.
“Social media is social. We build strong relationships through time spent together, sharing secrets, doing favours for one another, and sharing intense emotional experiences. Interaction online boosts the time we think about and interact with friends by offering advice, likes, comments, and showing support. Online interaction can also help us maintain distance relationships that might otherwise fade away.” - Jennifer Golbeck, PhD. Psychology Today
The strange new intimacy when strangers enter our home
Online gatherings are changing how we show up in public, wrote Corinna Nicolau in a Seattle Times article. Because we participate from private spaces, people see a version of us that reveals more. They note the art hanging on our walls, the dog or cat who walks across the screen, and the books on our bookcase. Nicolau adds that it is not just the physical environment but who we are that is more intimate. At home, we have fewer defences. We dress more comfortably, may not apply makeup, and are more relaxed. The woman I show up as on a video screen is not the same woman who attends an in-person workshop at the local library.
A new opportunity for social connections
Stranger intimacy has been identified as a new form of social opportunity, one where we are willing to exchange meaningful stories, experiences, and inner feelings. Research suggests that when strangers are brought together outside of conventional settings, encounters often offer a sense of freedom and openness. This encourages a willingness to self-disclose, actively listen, and forge connections.
You are the intimate stranger in my life, the women who subscribe to my blog, attend Women Rowing North workshops and connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. The resources you send me - quotes, book titles, and website links - are appreciated. I am grateful for your good wishes when times are tough and the congratulations you send when life blesses me. Your stories touch my heart and remind me that we are rowing north along the same waters. And your words of encouragement keep me writing.
