Forgotten Memories
“There seems something incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory.”
This week, I listened to a story of a young girl who spent long hours reading in the neglected zen garden of her childhood in Japan. Another story, told me of a mother who sprayed her daughter with 4711 cologne during Sunday sermons in the stifling heat of the Prairies.
The mention of 4711 cologne evoked memories of my oma, who had done the same, offering me a spritz of her 4711 cologne on hot days. I have a vague memory of a refreshing scent - citrus and bergamot. I made a note to order a bottle. Maybe it will bring back more memories of my Oma.
Reading filled my childhood and teen years. This pastime has stayed with me for a lifetime. Imagining a girl curled up with a book in a zen garden, I cast my mind to where I used to read - and I drew a blank! I remember the authors of the many books I enjoyed, but where did I read them? Did I curl up on the couch in the living room? Hide away in my bedroom? Or did I sit in the shade of our first backyard when we moved to the suburbs? I cannot remember.
I vividly remember every library I joined. I still feel delight thinking of the Classics Illustrated comic books my father would bring home. Lorna Doone was my favourite! I can still see my teacher, Mr. Springer, looking at me over the top of his glasses when he caught me reading a Harlequin romance in grade six health class. I did not feel the least embarrassed! The awe on the faces of the girls in the classroom, recognizing my bravery to read a Harlequin in class, instead filled me with pride.
The only place I remember reading was sitting under a weeping willow by a pond in the Rideau Cemetery in Dollard-des-Ormeaux, Quebec. I was fifteen years old. Every week that summer, my friend Debby and I would walk three kilometres to the Roxboro Library. On the way home, we would stop in the cemetery to rest our heavy book bags and prioritize what we would read first. As much as I can vividly recall the cemetery and the books, I don’t know where Debby and I read during the week. Where I read, I now realize as I write these words, is just not as important in my mind as the emotions evoked by books and reading experiences. Memory may be the diary we all carry, Oscar Wilde said, but I don’t think all memories need to be remembered.
But what about those memories we do want to remember? I am a nudger of memories. In my workshops, I offer writing prompts, quotes, and poetry designed to niggle at those memories and bring them back to life. What works best for me? Listening to women read their life stories and reading memoirs by older women. The power of their stories opens doors to my stories.
I thought you might also like to recall forgotten memories. Hope this list gives you some insight!
25 Tips to Retrieve Old Memories
Sit down with a family member to label unknown faces in old photos.
Can you name all the kids in your elementary class photos?
Read a poem you wrote or liked to read when you were younger. I just discovered May Sarton’s poem Now I Become Myself in a 1985 journal I kept. This is a poem I now share in my workshops!
Read an old letter, diary, or newspaper article. I have some letters my Oma wrote me when I was twelve. Reading them always brings me back to my childhood.
Listen to an old song that you or someone in your family loved.
Cook a meal from your childhood. Maybe an old family recipe you haven’t tried in years?
Visit a place from your younger days. I walked past my grandparents’ house the last time I was in Leiden. Such fond memories sprung to mind!
Talk with a family elder who shares memories you might have forgotten.
Share stories with your siblings about growing up together.
Watch old home videos.
Look up historical events from your childhood era.
Listen to old radio shows. Watch Ed Sullivan or Kids Say the Darndest Things with Art Linkletter.
Read old birthday cards or wedding cards.
Watch cartoons you used to watch.
Read a bedtime story you loved as a child.
Look for magazines or catalogs you used to flip through. I remember circling everything I wanted from Santa in the Sears Christmas catalogue.
Check out a toy store to see if your old favourites are still around. There is a resurgence in vintage toys!
Look at old school projects and report cards.
Create a playlist of songs from your teenage years. Last weekend, my husband put on a playlist from the seventies. I was reminded of my first slow dances - and who I snuggled up to!
Flip through family recipe books with handwritten notes.
Write a letter to your younger self and reflect on your memories. Or have your younger self write a letter to you!
Write out the lyrics to a song you once knew by heart.
Write the names of childhood friends and see what you remember about them.
Sketch your childhood home from memory. Who sat where at the dining table? Where do you see your mother? Your father? Your siblings?
Create a timeline of significant events in your life, then fill in the details.
As old memories re-surface, close your eyes and focus on the sights, sounds, smells, thoughts, and feelings associated with each one. Guaranteed, you’ll sink deeper into these memories!