Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary
“I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman or child.”
Photo by eberhard 🖐 grossgasteiger on Unsplash. The photographer’s mother and her protectress at their retirement home in St. Johann, Italy.
Wednesday morning. I woke to a kiss from my husband, who had just brought me coffee, as he does almost every morning. I opened my eyes; not a cloud in the sky. The day stretched out in front of me, full of potential, with nothing on my to-do list except things I wanted to do. Sounds like the start of a perfect day, doesn't it?
However, I felt bad because I did not feel wonderful. I woke up with a heaviness in my soul that morning, despite my husband, sunshine and the gift of time. Why? This is part of my chemistry. I have lived with these days since I was a child. Luckily, they happen less frequently as I have gotten older. Wisdom, self-awareness, and self-care have all contributed to brighter days. And, the anti-depressant medication I now take also softens the edges of this bleakness. I wish I had turned to medication a long time ago - but I will save the story of wrapping my mental health too tightly in shame for another day.
Later that Wednesday morning, I sat in the sunshine of my office feeling a bit better. I had just finished watching A Grateful Day, narrated by Brother David Steindl-Rast (click video to watch). I used to watch this video almost daily. These days I only watch it when I need a jump start, a reminder that life is bloody marvellous!
Despite the darkness that still pulls at me occasionally, these days I am spectacularly aware of the wonder that is life. Moments of joy startle me with their intensity. I find this most often in nature. Although these days, the marvels of my 14-month-old granddaughter also leave me shaking my head in disbelief. A year ago, this little being was barely able to lift her head. Now she walks, feeds herself, stacks toys, dances, and speaks legible words!
Some say we need a sense of childlike curiosity to see the extraordinary. Maybe, but at our age, I think we have a greater appreciation for finding the extraordinary in the ordinary.
In an interview with Kate Bowler, Mary Pipher said, “… there’s an amazing calculus to old age. And if we’ve been growing, if we’ve had our lights on, then what happens is as more is taken from us, the more deeply we appreciate what is in front of us.”
I appreciate the little things in life much more now that I am older. I’m not the only one. Numerous research studies have found that younger people, who view their future as extensive, gain more happiness from extraordinary experiences. However, ordinary experiences become increasingly associated with happiness as we get older. In fact, as we age, they produce more happiness than extraordinary experiences. The research found that as we age, we get more pleasure from ordinary experiences, like a conversation with a friend, than extraordinary experiences, like an exotic vacation.
Where do I find the extraordinary in the ordinary? Everywhere! Here are just a few:
Birds
A male hummingbird’s loud squeak at the bottom of his courtship dive.
The murmuring of sweet nothings between our resident ravens.
Eagles catching wind currents high above my head.
Chickadees and red-wing blackbirds pecking at seeds on my open palm.
Nature
The quality of the evening light.
Wind, approaching through the trees.
Deer, braced on their back legs, enjoying our plum trees.
Killer whales cavorting with their young just off the coast.
The rugged beauty of my backyard, the Pacific Northwest.
Relationships
The comfort of my husband’s arms.
Holding my sleeping granddaughter.
Knowing my daughters love spending time with me.
An unexpected phone call, or email, from an old friend.
Connecting with random strangers.
Daily Life
Writing in bed while enjoying a cup of French Roast coffee and listening to Gregorian Chants.
The cat stretching in the last ray of sunshine.
The doorbell rings. Books!
Sipping wine and enjoying a good meal with friends.
Ageless Possibilities
Writing a blog post that resonates with you!
Announcing a new life story writing workshops and getting four immediate responses - “Seriously! I cannot wait!”, “Count me in!”, “Yeah!!!”, and “Yesss!”
A mailbox full of blog posts from other bloggers.
The connection that I feel with you, knowing I am not rowing north alone.
Where do you find the extraordinary in the ordinary?