The Sweetness of Doing Nothing
“Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing.”
On Friday, if you had peeked into my life, you would have found me curled up in bed, with my book, and my dog, and the fan blowing cool air. At what time you ask? Well, pretty much all day!
The day started with quite different plans. I woke up feeling refreshed and looking forward to finally spending some face-to-face, but socially distanced time with a dear friend who I have not seen for six months. I headed off for an early morning physiotherapy appointment. The air was slightly foggy, the sun offering only a faded, orange glow. Stepping out of the physiotherapist’s office I was met by a blanket of smoke; walking home I could feel a headache coming on. The winds carrying the smoke from the devastating wildfires burning from California, through Oregon and Washington, had made it across the border.
I checked the weather network. An air quality advisory warned that anyone with chronic underlying medical conditions or acute infections should postpone or reduce outdoor physical activity. I messaged my friend and we cancelled our plans.
So what to do with this day that stretched ahead of me? It seemed obvious, I would write my next blog post and work on the content for my next Pandemic Ponderings workshop. But first, a quick peek at Facebook. The very first post I read was from Leanne, over at Cresting the Hill. Leanne shared a quote that started off, “Instead of focusing so much on a TO DO list, let’s start on a TO BE list!” I read it to my husband and said, you know, these days I always feel like I have to do something, I have this compulsion that I have to keep busy and have a list of accomplishments at the end of each day! My husband nodded and agreed. Why is that, he asked? Ah, let me list the reasons! One, I am worried that if I’m idle I’ll have too much time to think – frankly, the world is horrific right now and if I give it too much thought I may just spiral down into a deep depression! Two, my husband is the primary breadwinner these days and I don’t feel like I’m pulling my weight. Three, related very much to number two, I have been a workaholic most of my life and my work has very much defined who I am. As I journey into a more balanced life, working less and earning less, I feel like I don’t measure up. I have colleagues my age who are taking on new roles as CEOs and presidents - and all I long to do is write, walk, read, garden, and spend time with family and friends.
I really need to get over myself! Deep down, I know that what matters is who I am and the qualities I want to grow in myself - that TO BE list that Leanne refers to. I know that the best way to live my life is to offer my gifts to this world in a way that fills my heart and benefits others. I know that a pay check doesn’t define me. And I know that sometimes it is okay to do absolutely nothing. And so, that’s what I did on Friday.
I closed all the windows in the house, hoping to keep the smoke at bay. Then, I grabbed All the Devils are Here, the latest bestseller from Louise Penny off my reading pile, and headed up to my bedroom. My old dog watched me climb the stairs, retrieved his favourite stuffie from his toy pile, and followed me. I turned the fan to the highest setting to help clear the air. I had a long phone chat with my dear friend, who I would not see in person, and then I snuggled in and began reading. Lately, I have found it difficult to concentrate on anything, even reading, but I knew that a book written by Louise Penny would keep me captivated. And this latest murder mystery did not disappoint.
I took some bathroom breaks. I stopped reading long enough to fix myself something to eat. I replenished my glass of wine a few times. And I read, and read until I could barely keep my eyes open.
For the first time, in a very long time, I enjoyed a day of doing nothing. Well, maybe I should clarify that statement. I may not have had a list of accomplishments checked off by end of day Friday, but I did nourish my spirit. Ah, la dolce far niente – the sweetness of doing nothing.