The Stories That Guide Women's Lives
“Each of us has a narrative compass, a story that has guided our lifework.”
In 1963, with a newborn son and a two-year-old daughter, geriatric social worker Ann Burack-Weiss wrote that she had little time to do anything but read. “In retrospect,” she wrote, “I was seeking what would later be termed a narrative compass on which to map out the next part of my life, which was yet, uncharted territory.” This led her to social work as a career, “a chance to feed a throbbing curiosity about people and circumstances other than my own.”
I had never heard of a narrative compass. As an avid reader passionate about stories, I set out to learn more. I discovered that each of us has a narrative compass - a story that has guided our lifework. That got me digging deeper because I was eager to explore what my narrative compass had been!
In 2009, Betsy Hearne and Roberta Seelinger Trites published A Narrative Compass: Stories That Guide Women's Lives. In the introduction, they share that they invited 19 women working in various disciplines to write about the stories that “shaped their research, motivated them, and helped them earn wisdom, guiding them when they have known sorrow and when they have known joy. The stories these women have internalized, their narrative compass, have influenced their decision-making and careers."
I have not yet been able to acquire a copy of the book at a reasonable price, so my research comes from reviews and descriptions of the book.
Asked about what inspired their careers, these women in academia frequently knew the exact stories that had affected their careers, moulded their values and provided them with role models. Some were coming-of-age stories (Jane Eyre) or stories that validated what it meant to be marginalized (The Well of Loneliness). Some were stories of spiritual transformation inspired by religious stories. Some stories were from family narratives, internalized through repeated retellings.
The essays gathered for the book shared some consistent patterns. Almost all of the essays involved some sort of marginalization. Several essays were about trauma - witnessing it, experiencing it, living through it, and surviving. Mothers, fathers and siblings figured more prominently than partners and children.
Little Women was the narrative compass for one of the authors, Roberta Seelinger Trites. The book was given to her by her grandfather when she was recovering from pneumonia at age seven, a time when her sisters were “as frightened as Meg and Jo when Beth lies dying”. Trites did not grow up to identify with Beth, but rather as both Jo and Amy: Amy the brat, her reality; Jo the writer, her aspiration.
Carolyn Heilbrun, a feminist author of academic studies, was inspired by Dorothy Sayers. “It is impossible to overestimate the importance of her detective novels in my life during what should have been, but was not, a time of hope…In such a time, I read Sayers, and through her wit, intelligence, and portrayal of a female community and a moral universe, I caught sight of a possible life.”
Wendy Doniger, a scholar of Sanskrit and Indian textual traditions, was 12 when her mother gave her a copy of A Passage to India. She wrote, “It changed my life. In each elegant interpretation, the author traces the ripple effects of a story that thrilled or provoked her, a story that became a catalyst for a lifelong passion, and a story that became a virtual home, a mind-opening testimony to the profound.
So, I have been pondering my own narrative compass. Roberta Seelinger Trites credits reading Little Women at the age of seven. I can’t remember what I was reading then! That was the year we emigrated to Canada which would have limited my access to Dutch books, while also limiting my ability to reading in English.
What is my earliest memory of books? I remember being caught reading a Harlequin romance hidden inside my health book in grade six. I won’t throw that into the mix as I don’t think that affected my life work or relationships! I also read every Nancy Drew book, the Hardy Boys, and Enid Blyton’s Famous Five series. Again, none of these books stand out in my mind.
My parents purchased a set of encyclopedias while I was in elementary school, 24 white volumes with blue writing on the spines. I was fascinated with the wealth of information and read each volume, from A to Z. They received a free atlas with their purchase and I dreamt of far off places I might one day visit.
Dervla Murphy’s lifelong bicycle travel was inspired by anatlas, “On my tenth birthday a bicycle and an atlas coincided as gifts, and a few days later I decided to cycle to India.” Murphy took her first cycling holiday abroad when she was 20. A pioneer in women’s solo travel, in 1963, at the age of 31 she rode her bike from Dublin to Delhi.
During my early high school years, I read Catherine Cookson, Anya Seton, Mary Stewart, Victoria Holt, and Frank Derby - but I also read 100s of other books! I devoured historical fiction and stories of the deep South, then drifted into mysteries. I identified most with the main female characters, particularly if they were marginalized or oppressed. Stories of abandoned or unwanted young girls who had the resilience to find their way spoke to my heart.
These women and girls resonated most for me in all I read, despite the authors and the genres. In my late teens, I moved on to books with strong female characters - women who defied the odds, withstood hardship and pain - women who were strong and independent.
Is this my narrative compass? I changed my major three times in university - social work, women’s studies, and finally settling on English literature. My love of stories and words won out - but only in my education. My career began, and remained, in social services. I worked in family support for more than thirty years, not working directly with women and children but working with communities to ensure that mothers had the support and resources they needed.
What about the strong, independent women I read about? They reflected my personal longing to be able to take care of myself and be self-reliant. The compass may have set a general direction, but I forged the path to my desired future.
Was your life guided by one particular book or character? Or, like me, were you drawn to a specific type of character, subject or location?