Small Blessings
“Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can. Breathe…and be grateful for small blessings. ”
Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash
What can I say that hasn’t already been said – 2021 was not what I expected! Krista Tippet says it much better than I ever could, “…this past year has not lived up to the vision I had for the beyond of 2020. It was, I suppose, a dream of moving past the pandemic. Not a return to some old or new undesired “normal,” but at least a page turned, a new chapter opened. We are still, and again, in a liminal time and space — an in-between time of rupture and searching and unmourned losses and so many callings yet to heed, so much change to absorb and propel.”
December is usually a difficult month for me. Childhood memories, my drive for perfectionism, and the obligations to socialize usually result in a stressful month, my anxiety at a peak. Over the last few years, this has improved as I turned down invitations and tucked my perfectionism away – tucked away because occasionally I accidentally open that closed drawer! Writing my life stories, coaching, and reading numerous self-help books have helped me cope. The wisdom that comes with age also allows me to approach December with more clarity and understanding. But I approached this December with some trepidation, worried that another pandemic year might just open Pandora’s box!
I decided to approach the month differently this year. We picked up our Christmas tree before the end of November and stuck it in a bucket on the balcony. New pandemic restrictions announced this week has made it easier to turn down invitations, alleviating my stress regarding socializing. We are also not getting together with extended family, celebrating instead with just the kids, our new grand-baby, 3 dogs, and two cats. The kids will be spending two nights with us, allowing us a slow pace for eating, opening gifts, and playing games. Our gift exchange has also become much simpler over the years, with only a Secret Santa gift exchange and stocking stuffers. I wrapped up shopping last week, presents are already under the tree. And, instead of taking the week off between Christmas and New Year, my husband is off this coming week. This lends another layer of peace and enjoyment to the lead up to Christmas, especially with little left to do.
Still, I get the occasional twinge of anxiety. So, for the last two weeks, I have been paying attention to life’s small blessings, those moments in time that I usually never notice when caught up in swirls of stress and anxiety. I thought I would share ten of those small blessings with you in this blog post.
1. My husband had two business trips last week, the first in over eighteen months. He arrived home Tuesday night after his first flight on a crowded, delayed plane. The fireplace was burning when he came home, the Christmas tree and decorations glittered. We curled up on the couch with a drink to catch up, one of the cats snuggled on my husband’s lap, Tucker stretched out between us, head resting on my lap. My husband, after complaining about his Air Canada flight, smiled, looked around the living room, and said, our life is pretty perfect.
2. My new granddaughter had a few rough nights her first few days home. Her parents were exhausted. It will get better, I assured my daughter. But I remember how it is hard to believe that things will improve. Another week has gone by, there is now a light at the end of the tunnel. My grand-baby is sleeping longer, dad is now giving her one of her nighttime feedings, and everyone is settling into a routine.
3. There has been a layer of frost these December mornings, and the birds are hungry. Suet now hangs from a branch in the backyard. The yard is full of birds - doves, flickers, juncos, chickadees, finches, and pesky starlings. They fight with each other for access, but not with their own kind - except for the juncos. Twice I have watched squirrels balancing precariously on thin branches with little luck, although they do enjoy the crumbs on the ground.
4. My photos app sends me a message that I can watch a Year in Review. How is it that a photo app can choose just the right photos to evoke memories?
5. The phone rings, I think, it must be my mother, for a moment forgetting that she left us in August. I don’t feel sadness; instead, I am reminded of how much my mother enjoyed her afternoon cup of tea, especially with chocolates.
6. My husband and I play cribbage regularly. Our games remind me, again and again, to be optimistic. I am far in the lead this game; in fact, I think I may actually skunk him! I ask if he wants to concede, but no, he says he wants to at least get over the skunk line. He then pegs 24 points with a far superior hand, over the skunk line. And, if I hadn’t counted my points first, he would have actually won. Now, if it had been me, I would have conceded. But his attitude is, stick with it, anything is possible. There is a lesson in that.
7. We brought home a truckload of firewood from our island home. There is nothing like real fire on a cold December evening.
8. Last night Tucker and I met a coyote on the back path. The coyote was very interested in the two of us and circled back to follow us. I love urban wildlife, but that was just a bit too close for comfort!
9. It is late on Saturday morning as I finish writing this. I am still curled up in bed, a fresh cup of coffee beside me as I listen to the rain pounding the pavement outside. And now I can also hear sea lions barking in the river. I expect fishing boats must be docking with their catch.
10. The weather network is predicting snow for Christmas. The kids will be sleeping over, so no worries about travel. How wonderful it would be to wake up to a white Christmas!
And finally, I am most grateful for the special small blessing who entered my life a few weeks ago, Charlotte, my first grandchild. Charlotte, you are the bright star on the tree this year, giving me hope and making all of life’s challenges and anxieties seem trifling.