Reflections On Another Year Older
Birthdays are random events for me as I get older; I never know how I will react. This week, I celebrated my sixty-sixth birthday, a mediocre number - not a birthday to feel sad about, but also hardly feels worthy of celebrating. However, like all birthdays, I take some time for reflection.
Reflections on aging
I went for a mammogram and a hearing test this week. A slightly older woman plonked herself down in the seat beside me at the mammography clinic and said that her husband had wanted to come with her. She had responded, why? Do you want to hold my breast? She leaned over and quietly shared that she never gets a break from him; they do everything together. She added how thankful she was to get away for an hour! I had put off having a hearing test for over a year. The results, while not surprising, have me feeling profoundly sad. Moderate hearing loss in both ears. We all have something that makes us feel we are getting older; hearing loss is mine.
I took our old cat to the vet for a check-up. Our seventeen-year-old ginger has been going downhill this last year. These past few weeks, he has worsened. Blood tests revealed elevated kidney enzymes. Now, we wait, and hope that we will be able to recognize when it is time to say goodbye. Our emotions get tangled in the well-being of our animals, making it difficult to see reality. My biggest health fear in old age is dementia, prevalent on my father’s side of the family. Will I be able to see through the tangle of damaged brain cells in time to know when to call it quits?
We bought a new car this week. An unexpected purchase. The stars aligned for us to make a new vehicle feasible. We approached this purchase differently this time. We discussed that this might be the last car we buy. We purchased a car that is reliable and has safety features.
Birthday wishes
Here are some wishes from friends, old and new, that provoked further reflection.
A Jacquie Lawson birthday card in my emails from Nancy featuring a fairy, a garden abundant with flowers, a table with a teapot and cups, and a message saying that she was looking forward to the day we can enjoy a cup of tea together. Nancy lives back east. I have known her since high school. We only exchange the occasional email these days but always say that when we are old ladies, we will sit in rocking chairs on my island deck or her Prince Edward Island porch with a pot of tea. We both turn sixty-six this year, and I realize that date is approaching.
Next, birthday greetings from my friend Ruby, who celebrated her birthday yesterday. Ruby and I reconnected a few years back after many years of little contact. Our relationship has grown so rich. We enjoy many deep telephone conversations. She wrote that she repeatedly sang When I'm Sixty-Four yesterday and sent a link to puppets singing this classic by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. I wondered if I would now find the lyrics ageist. I checked online. The song refers to losing your hair and knitting a sweater by the fireside. But my husband is bald, and I expect I will be knitting by the fireplace this winter, so pretty accurate!
My oldest friend Laurie, who I have known since I was eight, also sent me a birthday message. Her mother and I share a birthday. Ma Pain would have been ninety-eight this year. She was one of my other mothers while I was growing up. She welcomed this little girl with a warm heart and no judgment, providing me a much-needed sanctuary well into my adolescence.
L to R: Milo, our 17-year-old ginger; Helen and Ma Pain - my other mother; and, a card for birthday wishing from my friend, Shelly.
Then an unexpected birthday wish from a new friend, Shelly, an author, writing coach, and publisher I met via social media. She sent me a 'supposing card' for birthday wishing, a photo of one of her emotikins and questions for reflection.
What creations are coming to life?
What do you wish for your future?
What lights will they shine?
Maybe you might also like to reflect on these questions.
A birthday horoscope
I am not a horoscope person, but I did check to see if I felt any affinity for my birthday horoscope. Who knew there were so many! I read a few that spoke to someone other than me. Then I found this one:
“There are so many ideas rattling around in your head at the moment that they are starting to get in each other’s way. Identify your top three aims and concentrate on those exclusively over the coming year. The more focused you are the more successful you will be.”
Direction! I need some of that these days! My life story writing journey is becoming increasingly murky. I want to support women in writing their stories through workshops and by creating workbooks. I also want to write my own life stories. And I have not yet given up on my dream to write a book! But I can’t do it all! I will need to give some thought to my top three aims.
A birthday concert
On the evening of my birthday, we headed to the golf club to listen to some blues, a genre my husband and I both love. I need to set the stage here for you. Our golf club is probably not like the golf club in your community - if you even have one! Ours is a log cabin and seats a maximum of sixty people. My husband, at sixty-five, is the youngest member of the golf club. The organizer knew the crowd well. The concert started at seven and ended at nine pm. He had a jar of earplugs by the front door. Turns out the concert was more rock than blues, not my favourite, but evoking memories as I listened to songs by Jimi Hendrix, Stevie Wonder, Prince, the Beatles, and Hall and Oates. Yes, I grabbed some earplugs! It was a good reminder that with some minor adjustments, I can still enjoy events that I thought I had left in the past.
Do you take time to reflect on your birthday? Do you look to the past or think about the future?