Pandemic Privilege Checklist
“In theory we are all equal before the law. In practice, there are overwhelming privileges that come with winning the birth lottery.”
Our COVID numbers are finally on a downward trend and over 60% of the population here on the west coast of Canada have received at least one vaccination. We are hopeful that travel restrictions will lift next week and life will begin to return to a semblance of normal.
Over this past year, I have alluded to the pandemic in several blog posts but I have not focused on the pandemic as a theme, except for my post, Calamity is a Great Teacher. In that post, I wrote about the stages of adapting to conditions of crisis through the lens of Aisha Ahmad, an assistant professor of political science at the University of Toronto, who has worked and lived under conditions of war, violent conflict, poverty, and disaster in many places around the world.
On socially distanced walks with friends over the last few weeks, conversations have touched on the impact of the pandemic on our lives. I should clarify, we actually talked about the lack of impact this pandemic has had on us over the last year. These women are all my age or older, and are retired or, like me, working less these days. While acknowledging that we have been largely unaffected by the pandemic, we did all express feelings of anxiety, isolation, and profound grief. I shared that I felt some guilt about these feelings when I have little to complain or be worried about, unlike some of my other friends, and so many others around the world.
These conversations have had me thinking about the dichotomy of being incredibly blessed, with little to worry about, and struggling with my mental health. I thought I would explore this through the lens of pandemic privilege, particularly as it applies to women of a certain age.
The Arizona State University has a Pandemic Privilege Checklist and I merged some of their statements with statements from other Privilege Checklists they feature on their website. You might want to check out this website if you are interested in learning the many ways you may or may not be privileged.
Interested to see where you rank? Then tally each of the following statements that apply to you.
Pandemic Privilege Checklist for Women of a Certain Age
1. You do not live alone
2. You have at least one person you can visit with face-to-face
3. You have the means to order groceries online
4. Your local pharmacist offers home delivery of prescriptions
5. You have not experienced wage loss during the pandemic
6. You do not have a compromised immune system
7. You have easy access to private outdoor space and/or walking paths and hiking trails where you can safely social distance
8. You have access to high-speed internet
9. You are financially secure
10. You have a pet
11. You do not have someone in your household who needs adult supervision
12. You can work from home
13. You can easily access medical care, including COVID vaccines
14. You do not have to decide against visiting a doctor or the hospital due to economic reasons
15. You can stay home from work if you are sick
13-15 - Privileged AF
10-12 - Pretty damn privileged
7-10 - Still somewhat privileged
Okay, not the most scientific survey but you get the idea!
But how do I reconcile pandemic privilege with feelings of isolation, anxiety, depression, and loss? I know by looking at social media feeds, talking with friends, and listening to the news that almost everyone’s mental health has been impacted, privileged or not, I am not alone. But I can only speak to my personal experience.
I do not live alone. Last March, when this pandemic started, I wrote about the comfort of my husband’s arms. I end my days as they begin, nestled in my husband’s arms. I am also an introvert. I enjoy my own company. And yet, there are days I feel so alone, so isolated. I miss my girls, my friends, and even casual conversations with strangers.
My world has gotten quite small with this sheltering in place. For most of the year, I have only headed out on foot to walk the dog or to bike into the village for groceries or to visit my mother. These days I am filled with anxiety the moment I leave the confines of my neighbourhood. I am now taking baby steps as I venture into the city or through the tunnel into the burbs, a strange feeling for someone who regularly steps on a plane for a solo trip to far-off lands.
And then there is depression. Data seems to suggest that the suicide rate has gone down during the pandemic. My theory is that many of us dealing with depression are unsure these days whether we are depressed or coping with the natural feelings that surface when adapting to conditions of global crisis. I find myself thinking, this can’t be dysthymia, I’m just feeling this way because the world is upside down and inside out!
During a phone consultation last week my doctor asked how I was doing. I replied that I was fine because really, what did I have to complain about? Her response? Seriously? Then you’re the only one who is!
In another article by Aisha Ahmad published a few months ago, she notes that many people feel the psychological burn of living through a sustained crisis. She writes, “… the tank is empty. Nerves are shot. Anxiety, sleep disruption, work fatigue, and family pressures are all par for the course. Some have avoided the worst damage, but very few are fortunate enough to be unaffected and undisturbed.”
So while I may be a woman of a certain age with pandemic privilege, this does not diminish the impact of this pandemic on my mental health. I do not need to feel guilty. I do not need to tell my doctor that I am feeling fine. It is quite normal for me – and for many of you - to feel isolated, anxious, and sad.